Dear Maria,

Grief does not define me.

It carved craters into me, those I love the most, and my life.

It changed my contours, my future, my understanding of the world.

But it does not define me.

It is not all that I am.

I am joy. I am happy. I am fulfilled. I am purposeful. I am whole. I am grief.

Grief does not define me. It is forever etched into me, it has forever changed how I experience life, it has transformed me, but it is not all that I am.

As a grief coach and someone that speaks openly about grief, it's difficult to make this distinction. To share without restraint and to risk being seen through only one lens. It's also my greatest wish for everyone I work with - that they can experience the fullness of their grief without it being the only thing that defines them.

Maria, just like your death is not what defines your life, losing you will not be what defines mine. But the scars of not having you here, they'll be on my heart. The one that beats for the beauty in this fragile life.

Jess